goal setting.

I feel unsettled.  And awkward.  And a little weird.  And kind of sad, but not in an upset way (if that even makes sense).  I moved out to school this week and like I said in the previous post, it was the last time I’d be living at home.  This unsettles me.  It makes me feel like a grown-up and I’m not.  Yes, I’m technically 20 and an adult, but an adult is not the same as a grown-up.  I can’t believe that I’m an upperclassmen.  I can’t believe that in 16 months that I graduate and I’m in the real world.  Super scary.

Enough with the depressing, scary stuff.  There is a point to this post and it is not negative. I need to quit my pessimistic tendencies and start seeing life in a more positive light.  I don’t always try to be negative, I just try to be realistic, and often that is the same thing.  As I’m approaching my junior year, I have a lot of goals.  Goals that my pessimistic self subconsciously knows I won’t meet.  Along with being pessimistic, I also happen to have a lot of pride.  This blog has helped me to overcome that by blogging about my creative process;  both the successes and the failures.  I hate failing.  Not like normal people hate failing.  I just beat myself up about it a lot more than the average joe.  At the same time, I am extremely driven.  So I’ve decided that if I flat out state my goals on my blog for the world (or at least my 21 followers) to see, that I will be even more driven and motivated to accomplish those goals.

So this is the first of many goal posts to come.  I will be completely honest about how I reach or do not reach each goal.  I feel like this will be good for me.  I need to be more open and I need to be more accepting of my failures.  This is my first step.

Not all of these goals have the same end date or duration.  These are just things that I find very important for my well-being and my future.  I know some of these may be slightly unrealistic, but a goal is a goal, and quite frankly, I do what I want.

1.  Keep my 4.0 GPA average.  Yes.  I get that all of my professors tell me that experience matters more than a GPA and most job recruiters won’t even look at my GPA.  But if I happen to apply for a job online where there are thousands of applicants, they have to weed through them somehow and a high GPA could keep me in the mix.  I also haven’t gotten a B since 6th grade reading with Mrs. Low.  It’s been eight years.  I can’t slip up now.

2.  Get an excellent internship. Again, yes, I do understand that I’m required to get an internship in order to graduate.  But just because I have to get one, doesn’t make it any easier or less scary.  It makes it more scary, in fact.  If I don’t land one this summer, I’ll be in school an extra semester by doing it the following spring.  So yes, that’s just a teensy bit of pressure.  I also realize that “excellent” is a subjective term.  I, not anyone else, will define excellent.  If I feel as though it will give me a competitive edge in the job market and bestow much knowledge of the fashion world upon me, then i consider it excellent, no matter where it is located.  Yes, in a perfect world I would be the creative intern for TOMS or the buying intern for Target.  This world isn’t perfect and I know that isn’t likely.  But that also isn’t going to keep me from trying.

3.  Stay in shape.  I feel like this is the one that is most in my control.  My GPA could easily be affected by a biased teacher who doesn’t like my style of writing.  I could easily get passed up for an internship for someone older and more experienced.  What I can control is what I put into my body and how often I exercise.  This summer I was working out four times a week.  With classes, work, TREND, and my newest venture, isdstyle, I won’t have time to work out four times a week.  So I’m keeping myself to two times a week.  It’s realistic, and if I can fit in one or two more times, then that’s great.  If not, I’ll be sure to stick to my twice a week. (And since I’m saying it to the world, now I am forcing myself to do it.)

4.  Apply for (and hopefully get) the YMA Fashion Scholarship.  I won’t get into the details of this scholarship too much (if you want to know more details, click here) besides that if you win, you get a nice chunk of money for school and you also get to go to New York with the other winners and *possibly* meet huge leaders in the industry.  My advisor had told me last semester that I’d be a good candidate (not sure what that entails) and I should apply in the fall.  I do have my GPA going for me, but that’s not going to cut it.  They have a project that you have to complete upon application, which will involve a ton of creativity.  If ISU chooses me as a finalist, only then will I get an interview with the YMA board.  It’s not very likely and extremely tough to get.  This is one goal I know that I may never reach, but with the support of my family, talented fashion friends (yes, that means you, Ian. you owe me one, remember? :] ), and heck, even my followers, I know I’ll have a better shot.  I’m not the most religious person on the block, but I do pray every single day that I even get a shot at this scholarship.  It would open so many doors, and not to mention, it would help my chances at achieving goal #2 by leaps and bounds!

5.  I want to be better with my money.  I know, again, super vague.  This is also very subjective.  Compared to my sister, Mallory, I think everyone looks bad with their finances. She is such a saver and it makes me look like Kim Kardashian on that episode where they had a shopping intervention.  Basically, I want to build up my savings a bit this semester, meaning I need to maintain regular hours at work and I need to spend less.  Easy, right?  So here is where it gets tough.  I need a social life at school since I didn’t have one last year until the last few months.  Social outings often mean spending money.  Therefore, I am going to limit myself to coffee twice a week (I may not even do twice some weeks, but others I know I will) and going out to eat once a week.  It’s going to suck, but gosh will I save SO much money.  So, friends, say hello to a lot of picnics on my living room floor :).

Okay, I think that’s enough for now.  I may add more as I think of them and I’ll be sure to update along the way for those who care.  I am also apologizing in advance for the flakiness of the semester.  I don’t have a sewing machine out here, so I’ll only be able to sew when I visit home.  I’ll try to do some DIYs every now and then, but I won’t be able to post as often.  I’ll try to drop in once a week/every two weeks!

Also, if you stay tuned, I just wrote an article on nail art for the Iowa State Daily that will be published on Monday.  I’ll post a link to the article and do a mini-tutorial here on my blog next week.

Thanks for reading and for your support.

Your homegirl,

kaylee.

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